Been a while....

Well... I've decided that I'm just gonna be happy with that I have and not gonna push trying to be in a relationship. As much as I miss companionship of someone I trust... I need to move on. Waiting for one person to 'know how to love again' is only hurting... Especially when i don't know if I can trust as easily anymore... I want someone who is gonna hold my hand an walk with me through all the bs my family decides to put me thru... Thinking of making huge changes in my life. I have a semi decent job now... Which will hopefully change into a way better job over the summer.. Moving out and getting my own place seems to be the next step to take... I miss being home with Serena so much... Being at work all the time is definitely taking its toll on me... Everything has been. It seems like everyone is trying to push me over board and I feel it's coming soon... Feeling lost, confused, and completely alone emotionally. I hate it so much. Bein mom and dad and trying to still make time for just me, like everyone else has been able to do when they had kids, is impossible. There's always something else that is planned. That I wasn't even told about.. Oh well. Things are gonna change. And I'm excited and at the same time scared for it.