Ok one more for the day...

So I realized that I may have forgotten a few things in my last post... Such as.. how life was after I had my baby... So here goes.
I realize, that being a young mom, not married or anything, is against my own morals, much less everyone else's possibly. However, this so was not my choice. There was a plan to get married, however, he wouldn't get a job. And if he did have one, it didn't last more than a few weeks. After I left him, I was so tired of life, and being crapped on so much. I had seriously thought about killing myself. I didn't want to be a single mom.. I didn't want to have to tell my daughter one day that her daddy didn't want her... But id fallen in love with my little peanut and I didn't think it would be fair to deprive her of not only both parents, but of her own life as well. Might as well have had an abortion if I did that. So as time went on, I got ready for my baby, finding names and so on. My grandma and I had decided on two names, serena Michelle Irene or Isabella Irene, and wed call her Bella for short... But, I wanted something that every other child wouldn't be named in her generation... After twilight.. the book/movie series... So.. serena it was. Time came, we had the baby shower two weeks before she was born and then it was the waiting game.
I decided to be induced after two weeks of never ending misery... So, instead of may 26th, she came may 20th. And I fell in love instantly. I had no epidural, I have a serious fear of not being able to move my legs. I had a shot of something that numbed like half of one contraction. Then it was like I was drunk. But, I have never loved anyone more in my life... And would never ever leave her. Not like I was going to, if I didn't have a huge emotional attachment like I do... I love her... With every smile, every giggle, and every cry... She's a part of me... And I'd rather be a single mommy with a happy baby than a mommy with an unhappy baby, and a man who doesn't treat me right.