Thoughts

The more I think about life, the more I try to plan things. Try is the key word. But as it goes by, I forget what plans I've mad or I Just dont get to them. I know plans are just things you can only hope to either acheive or do... I just wish that I could achieve or do them. I wish life would be going the way I wanted it to... However how it is going, for the most part, I dont regret. I know life is either never gonna go the way we want it or its just  gonna have ups and downs, i just hope this isnt a down, and it isnt a road block. i hate feeling like the way i feel is regret for having my daughter.. Because that's not how I feel at all. I love her more than anything or anyone. I always wanted to be a mommy. I couldn't wait to be a mommy. But now that I am one, I realize just how much harder my life has become. There are things that I wish I could still do but can't. Like going out and going to a party without feeling bad about not coming home that night. I can't do that now because serena stays up all night for the most part... And id feel really bad for being away all night. Much more, I can't sleep without her near. Does this ever go away?